I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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