I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to jail i love you
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
