Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
