I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
