No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
