well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
