It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
