dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
