That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
