Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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