Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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