Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
