Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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