I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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