So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
