she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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