Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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