I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
