it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
