Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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