That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
