Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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