I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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