Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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