I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
