Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
