Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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