Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
