You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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