but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize