Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
