my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
