I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
