i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
