4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
