I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
