I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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