If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
