youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
