He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
