just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
