this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
