just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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