Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
