is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
