4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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