its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
