Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
