Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
