Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
