Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
