could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
