Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
