just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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