Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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