Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
