I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think your dad took our porno
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
