hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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